I was reading through some of the struggles mums in our community are having with thriving at home with young kids. Quite a few have children with special needs and struggling with the endless cleaning, tidying and battling to get the basics done.
I can only imagine what you are going through, but I really want to help with finding advise and tips that will help you keep a tidy home with a special needs child. I’d like to introduce you to my friend Cass who understands the extra effort involved with having a child with special needs. I’m thrilled to have Cass on board to regularly write some posts sharing some of her tips through the ‘Helping mums thrive at home‘ series.
Hi, I am Cass, I am mum to three beautiful children, two of them have been diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I was thrilled when Kat asked me to write for her, to answer questions from special needs mums. I really started to think about it and I had this moment of clarity. When you get a diagnosis for your child, the whole game changes. Your life changes. Therapists, Special Ed departments, support devices, expenses. We make many changes and adjustments for our child to accommodate their needs. Ask yourself this question. Are you still playing the housework game the same as everyone else? I was. I was playing a totally different game, but still using the rules I had before! Lets assess how some of our housework has changed since diagnosis.
- you have less time – due to constant therapy appointments and at home therapies
- you have less time – due to upsets, sensory reactions (vacuum cleaner noise) and safety issues (wet floor – communication issues)
- you have a child that tips every toy out of every container every day
- you have more housework to do because of mischief – (really big mischief)
Now if this was our children, we would not expect them to have the same rules as those who don’t have these issues right? So, let’s be kind to ourselves. I am not saying to live in squalor at all. I am saying be ok with some mess sometimes. Bring in some supports (help, good appliances, routines & systems). Use housework as therapy, find a lesson in it and increase participation, don’t let it be about doing it quickly to keep up with the rules of someone else’s game. We are not playing that one anymore.
My house is often messy. But if you take note when you come, it is a different mess each time.
This is my son below, he emptied the beans from the bean bag. He had a blast playing with them, kept him occupied for hours. I used the blower vac on reverse to suck them all up.
PLEASE SHARE YOUR TIPS
Through the new series ‘Helping mums thrive at home‘ I will be sharing my stories and tips, but I would love to read and share yours as well, just like Cass’s. I am positive those who are feeling out of control at the moment will find some comfort and help reading how other mums have managed to get through these times, be it that you struggled too or you found one simple tip made a difference or you found a way to manage from the beginning. Your story and tips can make a big difference to another mum. Please email me your story or tips.
This post is a part of The Organised Housewife’s guide to help mums thrive at homeseries. You can view all other posts in the series here.