Motherhood is a beautiful journey but can often be exhausting and overwhelming. It’s a 24/7 job that leaves no room for a break, sometimes leaving mothers feeling burnt out and in need of a break. If you’re struggling with motherhood burn-out, know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to avoid it. Here are some strategies that you can use to prevent burnout and help you feel more energised and fulfilled as a mum.
I have been a stay-at-home mum, a work-from-home mum, and a leave-the-house-and-go-to-the-office mum… and they’ve all been exhausting. Motherhood is indeed tiring (regardless of how you’re managing it!), and it can sometimes lead to motherhood burn-out. That’s why it’s crucial for all of us to set aside some time for ourselves. We must take a deliberate and conscious approach to nurturing our happiness and well-being in order to combat the exhaustion and prevent motherhood burn-out.
When I was a stay at home mum, I found it endlessly frustrating that people would presume my life was easy. Whilst I loved being a full-time wife and mum, some days it did my head in! Being a SAHM was physically demanding and at times, felt like the most challenging job in the world.
Stay at home mums are:
- CEO of the household
- Cleaner
- Chef
- Taxi Drive
- Laundry Operator
- Teacher
- Cheerleader
- Referee
- the list can go on and on and on…
Apart from the physical demands, it can be emotionally demanding as well. In the early days, it felt really repetitive, and when the kids were sick, upset or constantly crying, I felt so alone. Now that the kids are a little older, the fighting and dobbing is what drives me crazy!
Heading off to and joining the working world wasn’t any easier. In addition to maintaining the home, I also had the added emotional guilt that comes from missing school assemblies or simply not being there for my kids the way I once was.
Motherhood is tough, and we always tend to put others first. This can lead to motherhood burn-out. Far too many women forget to take ‘me time’ because they feel they don’t have the time, don’t deserve it, or don’t need it. Some mums even feel guilty for leaving the kids at home while they are out having fun. Realistically speaking, we probably all feel guilty, but we shouldn’t because the benefits far outweigh the guilt. I need to take time out and feel I am a better mum for it. To get out of the home and spend time not being a wife or a mum but just being me feels incredible! I come home happy, refreshed, relaxed, and ready to take on the next day. I also usually miss my kids while I am out, which makes me appreciate the time I have with them even more.
Time-out won’t just happen though; we need to schedule it in, ask for our partner, family, or friends to look after the kids. Prioritising self-care can help prevent motherhood burn-out and keep us emotionally and mentally balanced.
We need to make ourselves a priority, and here are some ways I do just that:
1. Prioritise Self Care
The phrase “you can’t pour from an empty cup” is applicable when dealing with motherhood burn-out. Prioritise taking care of yourself first so that you can show up for your family. Allocate time for activities that will help you feel recharged and relaxed. This could be anything from taking a bubble bath, reading a book, or going for a walk alone. Whatever it is, ensure that you are taking time for yourself.
2. Organise Girl Time
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s become increasingly difficult to find time for long phone chats with friends like we used to. This challenge was particularly evident when our kids were young, as they’d always seem to pick the perfect moment to interrupt or get into mischief. To truly catch up with a dear friend, consider leaving the kids at home and planning a lunch, dinner, or coffee date. I love taking it up a notch by going to the movies – it’s an excellent way to unwind and enjoy some uninterrupted time in good company. Or why not explore joining a craft group or book club? Make time for those meaningful connections!
3. Build a Support System
I’m incredibly grateful for my amazing best friends, who I consider my personal cheerleaders in life. They’ve always been there for me, through thick and thin. One of the things I cherish most is that one of my closest friends has children around the same age as mine. When we discuss the challenges we face with our kids, it brings me so much comfort knowing she can truly relate since she’s experiencing similar situations.
Surround yourself with a strong support system that can provide emotional and practical support. Having trusted people to talk to, vent to, or help with the kids can make all the difference. These people can be your best friend, partner, family members, friends, or an online community that shares the same experiences. Reach out to them when you’re feeling overwhelmed, and don’t hesitate to ask for help.
4. Let go of perfectionism
As mums, we tend to put tremendous pressure on ourselves to be the perfect parent. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy and, eventually, this motherhood burn-out. Know perfectionism is not attainable, and there is no shame in asking for help or being vulnerable. Accept that you might not do everything right, and that’s okay. Remember my motto: Imperfect perfect is good enough.
5. Set boundaries
As a mom, you’re always on call. You might have a hard time disconnecting, but it’s important to set boundaries to prevent burnout. Set limits on the number of activities that you and your kids participate in, or cut back on tasks that drain your energy. You must learn to say ‘no’ to protect your time and energy.
6. Practice Gratitude
Taking note of the things that you’re grateful for can help reduce stress and improve your well-being. Practice gratitude by writing down the things that you’re thankful for daily. It could be as simple as hearing your child’s laughter or having a cup of coffee in the morning. Focusing on the good things in your life can help shift your perspective, leading to a more positive outlook on motherhood.
Our 5-Year Memory Reflection Journal are such a beautiful keepsake for documenting all the things you’re grateful for. I truly cherish the opportunity to look back on previous entries and reminisce about those precious moments spent with my children. This journal not only helps us practice gratitude but also serves as a beautiful collection of memories to treasure for years to come.
7. it’s ok to have Alone Time
Going to the gym or for a walk usually gives me a wonderful burst of energy for the rest of the day. When the kids were little, a ‘child free’ trip to the grocery store was a very welcomed outing.
One of my favourite things that my husband would do when the kids were little (and he could see I was reaching my limit!) would be to lay me down on the couch, make sure I had a show or movie to watch on TV, and take the kids out for a few hours. Out to the beach, a park, visit the grandparent or a bike ride. Not only did I need this time out, it was also really beneficial for him to spend time with the kids.
Another relaxing (and very therapeutic) option is to get an adult colouring book. You can do this in bed, at the kitchen table, or outside under a tree – just bliss out and channel your inner child as you colour up a storm!
Download: 20+ Free Adult Colouring Pages
8. get Pampered
Going to the hairdresser, beauty salon, or getting a manicure/pedicure not only helps with getting out of the house, but it allows you to walk away feeling great, with a new hairstyle or pretty new nails. You could even go one step further and occasionally treat yourself to a massage to help relieve any tension your body may be carrying.
If getting out of the house is a little hard with little ones running around or limited money at your disposal, why not bring the day spa to you?! A relaxing bath, beautifully scented candles, and a DIY face mask might be all you need to rejuvenate and re-energise.
9. start organising christmas early
With Christmas quickly approaching, it’s important to get a plan in place so that you can stay calm amongst the chaos. It’s for this exact reason that I created this Christmas Planner, which helps put you back in control of gift giving, budgeting, meal prep, Christmas events, and so much more!
SHOP: Christmas Planner
Motherhood is a fulfilling and rewarding experience, but it can be challenging. Mothers need support and self-care to avoid burn-out. Prioritising self-care, building a support system, letting go of perfectionism, setting boundaries, and practising gratitude are effective strategies that can help prevent motherhood burnout. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential so you can show up for your family.
