It is so easy to get wrapped up in the world of comparing your parenting skills to other mums…… you do or don’t breastfeed, you do or don’t allow the kids to sleep in your bed, you do or don’t keep your house tidy, she is buying the expensive nappies which you can’t afford, her child is walking yours is not, she always looks to have it all together and you want to cry, her child can say the alphabet yours haven’t attempted it yet, she looks so fit and healthy you are still carrying some baby weight, she is making all her baby food from scratch you don’t have the time, the list could go on and on.
Remember, every family is different so adapt the ideas you find to suit your family. Be sure to read the comments as well, as there can be some great advice in there from other mums going through the same struggles.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is not healthy, it’s unfair to yourself, takes up precious time and then you start to hold resentment towards others.
You don’t know how they managed to get to their current point, possibly having struggles and triumphing through it in their own way. Most women like to talk positive, she could possibly be having some emotional struggles herself or sadly gets a thrill out of feeling more superior than others and if this is the case, consider the type of person you are spending time with, it’s just not worth the negativity you feel.
Set your own standards
I found playgroup very hard, whilst it’s great to hear happy stories it’s also very difficult when you are struggling through certain elements for motherhood.
How I got through this was to set my own standards, know what type of parent I wanted to be, for example:
- I tried to breastfeed my babies, but I didn’t have enough supply for the twins, and my youngest was allergic to my milk. I had no choice but to bottlefeed and rather than dwelling on it I found the positive side that I could get help from hubby or visitors when it was feeding time
- It would have been nice to snuggle with the kids in my bed, but my bed was my one and only place that I could relax (because we all know that you can’t even go to the toilet alone). I really valued my sleep and if I had a child in the bed with me I couldn’t sleep well and I wouldn’t be a happy mummy the next day
- In the first few months of having newborns I never did the dishes at night I chose to spend that time with my husband who got home late most evenings. The kitchen was often a mess but I would always clean it early the next morning. My compromise was not to have a spotless kitchen, but rather spend some quality alone time with my partner.
- I did not compare my kids milestones to other babies. My twins were premmie and I always knew they were going to be a few steps behind other children their age.
- I couldn’t keep up with folding the washing, it was a constant battle for me in the early days of being a Stay At Home Mum. But rather than worrying about having a spotless house I was happy that at least the washing was cleaned and much happier to get out of the house and take the kids to the park for a few hours.
If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, thinking you could be better, stop that….
The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
I created this print to help those who are comparing themselves to others, this is a reminder it’s all about YOU! Use code ‘thrivecompare’ at checkout to download for free. DOWNLOAD HERE.