Stop comparing yourself to others

by Katrina - The Organised Housewife

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the world of comparing your parenting skills to other mums…… you do or don’t breastfeed, you do or don’t allow the kids to sleep in your bed, you do or don’t keep your house tidy, she is buying the expensive nappies which you can’t afford, her child is walking yours is not, she always looks to have it all together and you want to cry, her child can say the alphabet yours haven’t attempted it yet, she looks so fit and healthy you are still carrying some baby weight, she is making all her baby food from scratch you don’t have the time, the list could go on and on.

comparison

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Remember, every family is different so adapt the ideas you find to suit your family. Be sure to read the comments as well, as there can be some great advice in there from other mums going through the same struggles.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is not healthy, it’s unfair to yourself, takes up precious time and then you start to hold resentment towards others.  

You don’t know how they managed to get to their current point, possibly having struggles and triumphing through it in their own way. Most women like to talk positive, she could possibly be having some emotional struggles herself or sadly gets a thrill out of feeling more superior than others and if this is the case, consider the type of person you are spending time with, it’s just not worth the negativity you feel.

Set your own standards

I found playgroup very hard, whilst it’s great to hear happy stories it’s also very difficult when you are struggling through certain elements for motherhood.

How I got through this was to set my own standards, know what type of parent I wanted to be, for example:

  • I tried to breastfeed my babies, but I didn’t have enough supply for the twins, and my youngest was allergic to my milk.  I had no choice but to bottlefeed and rather than dwelling on it I found the positive side that I could get help from hubby or visitors when it was feeding time
  • It would have been nice to snuggle with the kids in my bed, but my bed was my one and only place that I could relax (because we all know that you can’t even go to the toilet alone).  I really valued my sleep and if I had a child in the bed with me I couldn’t sleep well and I wouldn’t be a happy mummy the next day
  • In the first few months of having newborns I never did the dishes at night I chose to spend that time with my husband who got home late most evenings. The kitchen was often a mess but I would always clean it early the next morning.  My compromise was not to have a spotless kitchen, but rather spend some quality alone time with my partner.
  • I did not compare my kids milestones to other babies.  My twins were premmie and I always knew they were going to be a few steps behind other children their age.
  • I couldn’t keep up with folding the washing, it was a constant battle for me in the early days of being a Stay At Home Mum.  But rather than worrying about having a spotless house I was happy that at least the washing was cleaned and much happier to get out of the house and take the kids to the park for a few hours.

If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, thinking you could be better, stop that….

The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.

I created this print to help those who are comparing themselves to others, this is a reminder it’s all about YOU! Use code ‘thrivecompare’ at checkout to download for free. DOWNLOAD HERE.

don't compare yourself to others PRINT

What comparison struggles do you have?

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11 comments

Louise Thomsen September 3, 2015 - 11:42 AM

This is so true! Comparison is the thief of joy!
Lou x

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Kate - Kat's Assistant September 4, 2015 - 11:10 AM

I agree, Louise.:) x

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Hannah September 3, 2015 - 1:27 PM

Right now I compare myself to my friends, we all had our children around the time however I had to return to work due to finances. One of those friends are still at home with their children and another only works part time. I feel like I am missing out on seeing my children by working but after reading this blog I have realised that I am setting a future for my children and then I also have the weekends to do special things with my girls. Thank you Kat, I love this website and check it out everyday (As soon as I get into the office). Hannah x

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Kate - Kat's Assistant September 4, 2015 - 11:13 AM

Absolutely Hannah i couldn’t agree more with you! x

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Bec September 4, 2015 - 1:53 AM

Just this morning in prayer, I spoke with The Lord about comparing. Sometimes, we are very hard on ourselves. I ask for help in my own life to stop comparing myself to one of my very best friends. We women are prone to do this too often.

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Kathy September 4, 2015 - 11:09 AM

I learnt a while ago that comparing myself and my family to others is a futile process. I learnt that our family runs the way it does because it works for us and I do things the way I do because it works for me. The comparison problem I have is comparing what ACTUALLY happens with what I think SHOULD be happening , ie I seem to set high standards of doing life for myself and my family, and when we don’t achieve those standards, I sometimes get down on myself and feel like I’m failing. I’m working on this with the help of some amazing friends I have who encourage me and help me to keep things real. Only just this morning I had a friend remind me to not get hung up on stuff and enjoy the journey of life, in whatever form it comes!

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Betty September 4, 2015 - 7:51 PM

Thanks Kat.As a mother of twins too, I struggled finding time to clean and do laundry in addition to school runs for the older two kids. But I learnt what the true meaning of the word prioritising. The time to bond with hubby and kids is priceless.
Each of us needs to decide what is most important at any time in our lives. I chose to devote most of my time to resting and caring for the kids and hubby.This meant only hubbys shirts got ironed , the rest of the laundry was wash, dry and wear for two years. I chose to only clean the kitchen and bathrooms each day leaving the rest of the cleaning to a cleaner once a week. Now that the twins are eight, i do have more time for cleaning.
Am also back toa full time job and I look back with no regret for spending more time with my kids and hubby instead of cleaning.

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Kate - Kat's Assistant September 7, 2015 - 11:11 AM

Betty, thank you! I agree with you 100% Family time is so much more important x

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Jodie September 18, 2015 - 4:25 PM

Thank You!
I really love your blog. You are so thoughtful and honest.

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leah September 20, 2015 - 7:34 PM

hi – i can’t find the code to enter at checkout to get this download for free??
thanks

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Katrina - The Organised Housewife September 20, 2015 - 9:41 PM

Hi Leah, the code is ‘thrivecompare’ enjoy 🙂

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