Whether you’re new to it or have been doing it for years, I can only imagine how tricky co-parenting can be. An anonymous reader recently reached out to our online community for tips on transitioning into co-parenting and was so grateful for the help she received that I thought I would share some of the lovely advice given by the community with you. If you or someone you know is struggling with co-parenting, I hope these tips can help!
I’ve recently separated from my partner, that in itself was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but it’s for the better. Next step is I am eager to learn tips on co-parenting. I want this transition to be the best it can be for my young kids. Thank you.
- Just remember it’s about the kids. When their dad has a birthday/Christmas etc take the kids to buy him presents because it’s not about your feelings or his – it’s about the kids – Julie R.
- Don’t interrupt each others time with the kids, like constantly texting/ringing, but if the kids are wanting to call either parent whilst in your care, allow them to do so, but of course check in on them. Just remember that the kids can and will pick up on anything (at quite young ages) that is going on. You may think that you’re doing the kids a favour by certain things but they all affect the kids. – Kate F.
- Be there at all sporting, school, personal things… the kids will grow up knowing you cared & love them. Don’t try and out-do the other parent – it hurts the kids, not you. I divorced my hubby 16yrs ago. It’s not easy! My kids aged 22 and 19 know I tried my best as a mum and they thank me for being there screaming the loudest, being a helper at sport and say they wouldn’t have had it any other way. – Bec S.
- Always remember you split up from your partner, not the kids. Keep your opinions of your ex-partner to yourself. The kids were made from love. So keep it peaceful. – Melissa S.
- Getting orders in place to set out the framework that each of you sees fair is always a good starting point. It takes the argument out of trying to arrange things, and gives you each a security. Without argument, it makes it easier to be civil. – Celeste W.
- Remember his virtues and encourage your kids to enjoy those virtues which are in them too. – Louise K
- If you find that you just can’t get along (it might get easier as time passes) meet at a mutually agreed place, like a playground. You can exchange any info needed between the two of you and you’re in public so it should keep any bickering to a minimum – and kids get a happy play for a change. Maybe do kids birthdays in a mutual place too. If things aren’t nasty, then there’s no reason why you can’t parent together and both be involved in all things kid related. Decide early if kids will take everything they need with them, or have everything extra in both homes. – Krysie B.
- Believe in the fact that they are both you and your partner’s children….. never use children as pawns and remember it’s just as hard on the children as you both. Equal time if possible is best as the kids love you both the same. – Lianne M.
- My ex & I are pretty good friends, but not without effort. We both decided that, for the sake of the girls, we were going to be adults & treat each other with respect & kindness. Seems to be working. Honestly, there are no hard & fast rules, just treat each other the way you want to be treated & remember that it’s all for the kids. – Skye S.
- Best tip I ever heard…. Love your kids more than you hate your ex! – Elizabeth L.